April 2026

Written by: Dr Cheung Kit

On television, there are many advertisements targeting the children’s market, including clothing, snacks, formula milk, stationery, and furniture. One of the key points is to make children more intelligent or to help them fully realize their intellectual potential, which is a good selling point. This sales technique captures a key point in the hearts of every parent – that their own child is the best.

Without discussing the truthfulness, logic, and objectivity of this statement, it is a sentiment that most parents, including the author, would agree with. However, in the process of raising children, this “most intelligent” mentality may lead to unrealistic expectations. Therefore, we can take a step back and take a closer look. In our daily lives, here are five behaviors that fathers commonly use to praise their children:

“A 2-year-old child knows many functions of the tablet computer.”

This is because the touchscreen of the tablet computer is controlled by the resistance of the fingers, so a child’s random pointing movements can easily manipulate the screen. Additionally, without the logical constraints of adults, it is not difficult for most children to discover new functions on the device.

“A 6-month-old child can observe others’ facial expressions and respond with coy or angry reactions.”

This type of response has been medically confirmed as one of the developmental milestones for all children. This two-way behavioral response, where the child learns by observing others’ reactions, is actually a learning response. Children who lack this type of reaction may be suspected of having sensory issues or early signs of autism.

“A 3-year-old child can use adult-like vocabulary.”

Research has shown that children in the early childhood period can simultaneously learn up to six languages, which means their brains can continuously absorb the words and sentence structures around them. Even if they don’t understand the meaning, they can repeat them like a parrot. When adults realize they haven’t directly taught the child, and the child still knows the vocabulary, they may mistakenly think this is a sign of the child’s learning genius, which is inaccurate.

“The questions that children ask sometimes are even beyond my ability to answer, they are so brilliant.”

In Hong Kong, one of the reasons why the complaint culture is so prevalent is that there is no cost involved: as long as one voices a complaint, someone will follow up on it without any effort. The questioning by children is a similar situation. They simply use words like “why”, “what”, and “how”, and the parents have to try their best to answer. In reality, these questions they raise are more a sign of their non-compliance, rather than a genuine learning process. So, this is not related to intelligence.

“When they play games, they prefer not to follow the rules and set their own new rules.”

Adhering to rules is a social norm defined by the adult world. Children, like people in undeveloped regions, need to learn how to live together and follow the rules. Therefore, if they knowingly do not follow the rules, it is merely an act of rebellion, not necessarily a sign of intelligence. On the contrary, the wiser approach is to first learn the basic rules, and then negotiate to improve them, in the view of the author.

After understanding the above common misconceptions, it is not difficult to grasp what a truly intelligent child is:

It is not just about being able to manipulate a tablet or smartphone flexibly, but also understanding how to utilize their functions.
The ability to intuit adult psychology is an innate skill in children, and the wisdom to control their own emotions is even more valuable.
Language ability is not the sole component in evaluating intelligence; both the “quality” and “quantity” of vocabulary are important.
Exceeding one’s personal developmental milestones at a certain stage is quite common, but sustained long-term advancement without being pushed is what truly merits attention.

While intelligence is certainly desirable, good character is also very important.

Written by: Ms. Chan-Chen Shu-an, Early Childhood Education Specialist

Some children still have the habit of sucking their fingers even when they enter kindergarten, or even at ages 5 or 6. According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk in 10 minutes (possibly due to a larger bottle nipple hole) are more likely to develop the habit of sucking their fingers, compared to children who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also experimented by feeding puppies with a dropper, so they didn’t have a chance to suck while drinking milk. The result was that the puppies reacted by sucking each other’s or their own skin, and some even peeled off the skin through excessive sucking. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, and not an innate or bad behavior.

Why do children develop the habit of sucking their fingers?

Breastfeeding Promotes Parent-Child Bonding

When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the infant is the happiest, because not only does the baby receive proper nutrition, but also the skin-to-skin contact provides warmth and a sense of security. Moreover, by sucking on the soft nipple, in addition to getting fed, the baby also enjoys the communication and deep love between mother and child. This profound affection and intimacy is incomparable to being fed by a cold bottle. The baby also experiences an unparalleled sense of fulfillment from the sucking.

However, as most mothers have to work outside the home, and for various other reasons, they have to use bottles to feed their children. In these cases, parents should pay special attention to the frequency and time taken for bottle-feeding. Mothers should calmly let the child eat slowly, and pay particular attention to the size of the bottle nipple hole. If the baby’s sucking needs are adequately met, they are less likely to develop the habit of sucking their fingers. Babies tend to start finger-sucking unconsciously – their little fingers move around and end up in their mouth, and they find pleasure and satisfaction in sucking on them.

Venting Psychological Stress

However, if the habit of thumb-sucking persists even at the age of 4-5 years old, the meaning is different. This could be a way to vent psychological stress. For example: due to conflicts between parents, the child feels anxious; because of a new sibling, the child fears losing parental love; because parents are too busy and unable to take care of them, the child feels lonely and lacks the warmth of a family; or the child was sent to kindergarten too early and lacks proper care, resulting in a lack of a sense of security. These factors can lead the child to feel anxiety, uneasiness, tension, and panic, which are all causes of psychological stress.

Just like adults, when children experience psychological stress, they need to vent it, which is a very natural phenomenon. Adults often use smoking to relax themselves. Children may use thumb-sucking or rocking to vent their emotional tension. In this case, as parents, in addition to paying attention to improving their attitude towards the child, they should also have extra patience. They should maintain a calm and kind attitude, so that the child can feel relaxed and not under pressure. If the parents show worry, tension or are hasty in correcting the behavior, such as tying the hands or applying bitter medicine, it will only backfire and increase the child’s insecurity. The child wants to stop the habit but cannot control it, creating a vicious cycle that prolongs the thumb-sucking habit.

What can parents do?

Breastfeed as much as possible, as this is the most natural and suitable feeding method for infants, and it reduces the chances of the child developing a thumb-sucking habit.
When using a bottle to feed the child, parents should pay special attention to the feeding time, and aim to maintain the feeding for 15 to 20 minutes, which is relatively ideal.
Use toys and dolls to engage the child in finger activities, in order to divert the child’s habit of thumb-sucking.
Spend more time with the child, playing together, telling stories, and singing children’s songs, so that the child does not feel lonely and bored, and thus less inclined to suck their thumb.
When the child sucks their thumb excessively, parents should still be patient and maintain a calm and relaxed attitude. Sometimes, ignoring the behavior and not drawing attention to it can naturally lead to the disappearance of the thumb-sucking habit.
If the child has had a thumb-sucking habit for many years before the age of 6, it will gradually disappear, especially when the child no longer sucks their thumb during the day, but only while sleeping. Parents should be patient and wait, as rushing to correct the habit is ineffective. Particularly after the child starts kindergarten, the habit may disappear naturally, as the child may not want to suck their thumb in front of their peers, or they are too busy with other activities at school.
Sucked fingers can have an unpleasant odor. If a child aged 5-6 still has the thumb-sucking habit, parents can try having the child smell the unpleasant odor, which may help correct this bad habit.

學校資訊

School information