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Seize the holiday, be grateful, and laugh heartily

Written by: Dr. TIK Chi-yuen, Director, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

I enjoy cooking and inviting relatives and friends to gatherings at home. When gathering with family and friends, they share, laugh heartily, play games, and even laugh uncontrollably. Numerous studies have shown that laughter can reduce stress, boost the immune system, and lead to fewer illnesses, while also strengthening relationships.

Scientific research indicates that regular family gatherings not only improve communication and strengthen healthy relationships but also help children avoid smoking, drinking, and drugs in the long run, and can even enhance their academic performance. It seems that having more meals together and chatting has many benefits!

If you pay a little more attention, helping to wash dishes after a meal, preparing desserts for friends, or volunteering can warm others’ hearts and your own. It is more blessed to give than to receive. No wonder research also shows that these actions can lower high blood pressure and protect heart health.

City dwellers endure considerable stress, mostly from academics, work, and family. Consequently, many urbanites suffer from headaches, stomachaches, loss of appetite, and muscle pain. However, research from the University of Illinois at Chicago in the United States shows that frequently expressing gratitude, appreciating others, and giving timely praise can alleviate these stress-induced symptoms and even depression. People who are often grateful do not spend much time comparing themselves to others, thus they are more content and happy.

British researchers studied a group of local university students and found that those who frequently expressed gratitude had fewer symptoms of depression and stress, and also had more social support. Additionally, people who regularly count their blessings tend to be more optimistic and easily satisfied. With so many benefits to being grateful, why not embrace it?

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Mar, Apr 2026 Reminder

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The most important thing in teaching children is values

Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan

In recent years, news of parent-child tragedies has become increasingly common. The root cause lies in severe deviations in parent-child relationships, familial bonds, and individual roles in family responsibilities. This results in resentment, blame-shifting, and an inability to combat negative thoughts, sometimes leading to the desire to harm others as a form of self-relief.

Guiding Children on the Right Path Through Parental Values

Although parents may feel heartbroken, they cannot turn back time to rebuild affectionate relationships with their children or restore the value of familial bonds. People do not have the choice to select their parents, so they must cherish the relationships they have. However, parents can seize the present moment to let their children know that they are the most selfless people in the world, allowing them to feel the warmth and tenderness of their parents. Since we never know when we might no longer be by our children’s side, the only things that can help them make judgments, prevent them from going astray, and resist negative temptations are the values and parent-child relationships taught by their parents. Children must understand that regardless of whether family life is smooth or challenging, it is a gift and a form of training. Through this training, people become stronger, making it an invaluable element of growth.

When we witness the tragedies of other families and individuals, it serves as a warning to resolutely avoid following the same path. At the same time, parents should realize that when they pass away, the only things they leave behind for their descendants are a lifetime of wisdom, culture, and the character they have instilled in their children. At this moment, what do parents expect from their children? I hope: “Just be a good person.” Storytelling education is a way to impart important values to children, facilitate communication, and build parent-child relationships.

The value of familial affection lies in accumulating intimacy from a young age.

Parents must strive to build intimacy with their children from an early age. The following example demonstrates how a mother can meet her child’s need for security, highlighting the importance of building intimacy and empathy:

One day, a 2-year-old baby suddenly raised their hands and stood on tiptoe, seemingly craving adult affection. We often refer to this behavior as “acting spoiled.” However, the father said, “Hold the baby? Okay, stand properly for Daddy to see first.” At this moment, the baby turned to the mother, raised their hands again, and stood on tiptoe, showing a strong desire for care. The mother immediately embraced the baby and said touching and selfless words to the father: “Ah, the love of Mommy and Daddy is not something the baby needs to beg for; love is always there, and we don’t have many days to be this close. Let the baby feel our love.” This story allows everyone to savor the value, role, and response of being a parent.

Additionally, I have several tips for promoting parent-child relationships and story education to share:

  1. Let your children understand your values, viewpoints, and response methods through your actions.
  2. Do not make your children fear your calls or feel annoyed, including only testing or completing tasks you assign.
  3. Parental instruction methods should only be used in situations that endanger health or life; otherwise, just warn of the consequences and respond calmly to the child’s anger and pain after they face the consequences.
  4. When children proactively share things, encourage them to express their viewpoints, hypothesize by taking on another role, and analyze emotions and thoughts to increase empathy.
  5. Create more opportunities for shared learning and topics, allowing you and your children to have similar feelings and experiences.
  6. If a child’s response in a story shows a deviation in values, such as tendencies toward violence or revenge, express that this makes you sad and guide the child to think of reasonable solutions or the benefits of letting go of the issue.

In summary, everyone has emotional and psychological needs for satisfaction. To help children grow in a balanced way emotionally and cognitively, parents must cultivate themselves to manage their families. Parents need to have the ability to judge and understand the entire value of their child’s life: happiness and contribution. Only then can children inherit and spread the mission of love through your example and teachings.

Why are children always distracted while eating?

202602_為甚麼小朋友吃飯時總是不專心?

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team

 

Many children aged 4 to 5 tend to look around and fidget during meals because they are not yet adept at using utensils. Additionally, their short attention spans, still-developing sense of time, curiosity about their surroundings, or even a desire to avoid eating may contribute to their lack of focus.

Short Attention Spans

Children aged 4 to 5 generally need longer meal times than adults. This is partly because they are not yet familiar with using utensils, which can lead to clumsiness, and partly because their chewing and digestive abilities are still developing, necessitating longer meal times. Furthermore, due to their short attention spans, low self-control, and lack of time awareness, they are easily distracted by their environment. When they become engrossed in something interesting, they may even forget about their meal in front of them, often requiring repeated reminders from parents to continue eating, which prolongs mealtime.

Parents dealing with children who have short attention spans can try to create a consistent, quiet, familiar, and simply arranged dining environment. They can set a reasonable time limit for meals and remind the children periodically of the time limit to ensure they finish their meals within that timeframe.

202602_為甚麼小朋友吃飯時總是不專心?

Curiosity About the Surroundings

Additionally, some children are naturally “observational” learners with strong curiosity, often learning new things by observing through their eyes. Even during meals, they might look around, continuing to learn. Although this behavior might seem like they are not concentrating, they rarely “forget” to eat; they simply continue eating while indulging in their observations. For such observational learners, instead of letting them look around, parents might consider engaging them with books during meals to foster a reading interest.

Of course, there are also “mixed-type” children and those who look around to avoid eating foods they dislike, deliberately delaying or performing small actions to draw attention. Therefore, to address the issue of children looking around during meals, parents need to carefully observe and understand the underlying problems.

No Need to Rush Meals

The pace of life in Hong Kong is fast, and meal times are becoming increasingly shorter. Sometimes, seeing children eat slowly can make parents anxious. Ultimately, if time permits, children should be given ample time to chew slowly and savor the taste of their food. Lastly, parents might consider reducing the portion sizes for their children, making it easier for them to finish their meals at the table. This approach can reduce potential conflicts at the dining table and increase the children’s motivation to eat more when they feel hungry.

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Parents Zone

Stranger anxiety: Anxiety towards strangers

202602_怕生:陌生者焦慮

Written by:  Hong Kong registered psychologist, Ching Wai Keung   

When discussing the formation of attachment, it is not difficult to observe that children, from infancy (approximately from birth to two years old), already exhibit feelings of anxiety, including stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. These anxieties typically begin to appear between six months and one year of age. This time, we will focus on discussing stranger anxiety.

Simply put, stranger anxiety is what parents often refer to as fear of strangers, and the behaviors derived from it are what we commonly call “recognizing people.” The intensity of fear of strangers can vary; mild cases may only show reluctance to be held by strangers or avoidance of strangers’ gazes, while severe cases can involve extreme discomfort or even crying loudly just from a stranger’s glance.

202602_怕生:陌生者焦慮

Firstly, I must explain that under normal circumstances, fear of strangers should be seen as a positive developmental signal, indicating that the child is capable of distinguishing between caregivers and others. Parents should not be overly concerned.

Secondly, an infant’s reaction to strangers often changes depending on the external environment, including the current objective environment, the stranger’s actions towards the infant, the distance between the infant and their primary caregiver, and the caregiver’s reaction to the stranger (Keltenbach, Weinraub, & Fullard, 1980). For example, if the primary caregiver interacts with the stranger in a positive manner, using friendly speech and tone, the child’s response is likely to be more positive as well (Feinman & Lewis, 1983).

Therefore, if parents want to reduce their child’s anxious behaviors when facing strangers, they can start by modifying their own behaviors. When interacting with others, they can increase their smiles, be more proactive, improve their tone of voice and body language. Don’t forget that parents are the lifelong teachers of their children! Of course, parents do not need to rush to change the behavior of infants and toddlers in a short time. As they develop the ability to self-regulate, their performance in managing anxiety may greatly improve!

The emotion of fear of strangers actually follows us throughout our lives. Are you able to speak freely in front of strangers? Do you feel anxious during job interviews? Therefore, a little anxiety is normal. The most important thing is how we can improve our performance when anxious.

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2025-2026 Lunar New Year Carnival

Jan, Feb 2026 Reminder

Chronic cough? Bronchitis? Or Asthma?

202601_久咳?支氣管發炎?還是哮喘?

Written by:Cheng Sui Man

The children can’t stop coughing, often continuing for an entire month, especially severe in the middle of the night, waking up from coughing, leading to insomnia, and then falling asleep from extreme fatigue. This is torturous for both children and adults! What exactly causes this persistent coughing? Is it sensitivity or inflammation of the trachea? Upon consulting a doctor, it turns out this is also a form of asthma!

Children are naturally more prone to having narrower airways due to their young age, making them more susceptible to nasal congestion, snoring, and even shortness of breath even with just a common cold. However, unlike bronchitis, a common cold usually recovers within a week, but the cough from bronchitis can last over twenty days, so it’s not surprising that the coughing continues for a month from the onset of the illness.

This leads to another question: Why does bronchitis occur? According to doctors, one common cause is the child contracting the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is a very common virus that spreads through droplets and air. It causes the airways to constrict and become inflamed, producing mucus that accumulates and further narrows the airways, stimulating the patient to cough and creating a vicious cycle. Doctors indicate that in these cases, bronchodilator medication may be prescribed to reduce symptoms and allow the child’s immune system to fight off the virus. However, once a child has been infected with RSV, the airways are somewhat damaged, increasing the likelihood of developing asthma in the future. As the doctor explained, my eldest son had indeed been hospitalized due to RSV infection in the past, and since then, every time he catches a cold and coughs, his recovery time is longer than that of my younger son!

202601_久咳?支氣管發炎?還是哮喘?

“So it seems your eldest son might indeed have asthma,” the doctor’s conclusion was definitely the last thing I wanted to hear. Asthma, in its worst case, can be fatal! Wait, that’s the worst-case scenario. The doctor added that asthma is actually classified into four stages.

Stage 1: Intermittent Asthma

Usually caused by respiratory viruses such as RSV or filtrable viruses, occurring sporadically a few times a year, with normal conditions the rest of the time. Therefore, it is only necessary to use a bronchodilator during episodes of airway constriction and shortness of breath to relieve discomfort without significant side effects, and there is no need for long-term medication.

However, if the airway constriction is not properly relieved, the airways can become increasingly prone to narrowing, and the asthma could progress.

Stage 2: Mild Persistent Asthma

Patients have episodes about once or twice a month, and bronchodilators are insufficient to manage the condition. Inhaled steroids are needed to “treat the root cause” and control inflammation. Inhaled steroids come in different strengths, and the doctor will prescribe the appropriate dosage as needed.

Stage 3: Moderate Persistent Asthma

Patients have asthma attacks on average once a week and need to use a bronchodilator daily.

202601_久咳?支氣管發炎?還是哮喘?

Stage 4: Severe Persistent Asthma

Patients need to use a bronchodilator daily, three to four times a day, while also using inhaled steroids to control the condition.

Following the doctor’s advice, I should no longer be afraid to let my child use inhaled bronchodilators! Relieving the child’s coughing and asthma symptoms early on can also hopefully prevent the worsening of asthma conditions in the long run.

Learning with movement and immobility

202601_動不動的學習

Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

In situations where social resources are scarce, children have little that is fun or interesting to engage with; however, when the objects in front of them show no minor changes and there are no detailed verbal or written instructions, children can still observe the differences and similarities between what they see now and what they have seen before, or make associations with other things they have encountered. They even try to describe their observations in their own words. This is active learning, which not only educates the mind but also unconsciously enhances psychological qualities.

With the continuous advancement of modern technology, everyone can travel the world instantly from the comfort of their homes through television or smartphones. But does watching TV or online information require concentration? It turns out that being able to watch video messages does not necessarily mean that children are attentively learning, as this falls under the category of passive learning. It requires colorful messages and continuous verbal narration, and lacking any of these elements might lead to a lack of focus.

Even though students still need to learn in classrooms today, with the help of information technology, it seems possible for them to see distant scenarios without boundaries. Unfortunately, there are still shortcomings; they need to experience these settings firsthand to gain a more comprehensive understanding and learning experience. Modern learning requires the involvement of more sensory channels to stimulate students’ motivation to learn. Are there other options available?

Human desires are endless, but resources are finite. Is it possible to endlessly stimulate learning through multiple senses? Should we pause and consider why more and more people are proposing vegetarianism, or having a meat-free day on Mondays? Some suggest returning to a simpler, more primitive way of life. Learning activities and arrangements might need similar actions to help children grasp the essence of learning and experience the authenticity of the learning process.

202601_動不動的學習

To achieve this reversal, guidance from parents and teachers is needed to change the trends and habits of this era; there are now some suggested activities for parents and teachers to consider, such as: trying to turn off the volume of the television, letting them experience what it is like to be deaf, only able to see and not hear to absorb information; they can also cover the television screen with cloth, making them feel like they are listening to a radio, only able to imagine the scene from other people’s speech, still able to grasp the plot without visual aid, and for example, placing some food in one of three cups, asking them to smell which cup contains the food, which is a lot of kinesthetic learning.

Parents and teachers make some small actions in teaching, which may produce some unclear factors that make them hesitate, but at the same time, it also generates more curiosity, and under guidance, they can have greater motivation to learn, starting from being moved emotionally and intellectually, then leading them to pursue what they want to hear and see, becoming active and enthusiastic learners!

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do

202512_家長教育、肯學敢做

Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming “experienced” parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children.

I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son’s request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn’t enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was tough for him to see his son go through this, but he thought it was important for his son to understand the principle of living within one’s means, even if it meant letting his son experience it firsthand.

202512_家長教育、肯學敢做

During a lecture on how to cultivate self-care abilities in young children, a mother of a K3 student shared that her son always relied on her to pack up his homework. Over time, her son’s dependence on her increased. After much reflection, the mother decided to apply what she had learned from parenting seminars. She told her son that he needed to take care of his own things and that she would no longer pack his school bag for him. She was also mentally prepared for her son to be reprimanded by the teacher for not handing in his homework. As expected, to avoid further scolding from the teacher, the son started to pack his school bag by himself every day. Although he may not yet fully understand the importance of taking responsibility for his own affairs, he has begun to take his own matters seriously and no longer relies on his mother’s “help.” The mother also stopped providing unconstructive help and care for her son.

After all, classroom learning is enjoyable, but practical application can be painfully insightful, with a mix of joys and challenges. While applying parenting techniques, it is also a challenge to the parents’ personal values and life experiences. Parents also need to have a balanced mindset and self-awareness. This is precisely the purpose of parenting education.