Author: system

Regain parents’ confidence

Post author By system
Post date 01/10/2025

Written by: Au Ka Leung, Registered Social Worker, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society

In 2012, it was the first year of the Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education Examination (HKDSE). Two years prior, I was already deeply concerned about how Form 3 students and their parents were dealing with the selection of subjects and the progression to higher education. Today, some students and parents have chosen to study abroad, leaving the local education scene. Of course, most students and parents have to face these changes, and I can only guide them with the limited public information and analysis available. For me and one of the parents, this journey is one of building confidence.

This parent has been asking questions about the new education system and exams over the past two years. In fact, he has become an expert by constantly updating himself with the latest information online, yet he still frequently asks teachers and social workers if his support and guidance for his children are appropriate. Over time, I realized that he is indeed a good father, but he lacks confidence in his son and his parenting skills.

His confidence is built on his son’s academic performance, behavior, and home environment. When discussing academic performance and behavior, one might think of exam scores and the child’s attitude towards revision. But what about the home environment? Due to his long working hours, this father only returns home after 9 pm, which is dinner time. He often mentions seeing his son pretending to be relaxed and watching TV dramas upon his return. Consequently, his understanding and guidance for his son are limited to what happens at home, leading him to distrust his son’s descriptions of school learning and after-school tutoring.

As a result, “Can you let me see you studying hard?” became this father’s mantra. Although the son wanted to explain to his father, “I work hard on my homework from class until late at night, can’t I even have a break?” his response was merely, “Oh,” leaving the father with nothing but helpless worries.

“Confidence” is a curious thing; when we see our children’s grades improve and their scores go up, we naturally feel confident. But why do we need confidence for something that has already happened? The confidence in our lives is partly transformed from personal experience, but true “confidence” is about having hope and good intentions for something that has not yet happened. Do not underestimate the power of saying, “With your abilities, you can do even better,” especially when the results are not as expected. Even a simple phrase can be enough to boost a child’s self-confidence and motivation. Being trusted by others is one of the elements that strengthen positive behavior. Expressing your good intentions with positive encouragement can bring hope to your son. In the workplace, the recognition and trust from your boss and clients are enough to allow you to come home with a relaxed mood. What a 16-year-old high school student, crying, longs for from his father is “to have a quiet meal with you.”

Dear parents, you are the witnesses to your children’s growth; they are not born failures. Over the past years, you have successfully brought them into the world, helped them grow, and learn. They have made efforts to turn over, walk, and attend classes, marking your success, “With your abilities, you can do even better.” Please regain “confidence” in yourself and them, and do not give up.

Delaying Tactics for Cultivating Children’s Patience

Post author By system
Post date 01/10/2025

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

Hong Kong is a society abundant in material wealth, but due to the overabundance of resources, when children have needs in life, parents quickly provide them with ample supply, allowing them continuous satisfaction. However, parents satisfying their children’s needs too quickly can have a negative impact on them, failing to cultivate their ability to endure, and over time, their patience may become limited.

Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Cultivate Children’s Patience

Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important part of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly satisfying their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such criticism is unfair to the children, as their patience has simply not been nurtured.

How can one delay the fulfillment of children’s needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the secret is “neither using the cane nor the carrot,” meaning that neither corporal punishment nor frequent rewards are necessary. Instead, patience and the ability to wait are cultivated through daily life experiences. Parents can try the following examples:

Example 1: When parents and children go to a dim sum restaurant, there is no need to let the children eat whatever they like immediately. Parents can ask the children to wait for 5 minutes after finishing one basket of dim sum before eating a second type; or they can require the children to wait until the parents have eaten a portion before they can eat. In this way, parents and children take turns eating the dim sum.

Example 2: When children ask their parents to buy toys, parents do not need to purchase them immediately. They can explain to the child to wait a few hours, days, or a week before buying, asking the children to wait patiently.

Example 3: When children return home from the street, do not let them turn on the TV immediately as they please. They must be asked to put away their shoes and socks, drink a glass of water, and sit on the sofa for 3 minutes before they can turn on the TV.

Example 4: When children go out with their parents, do not let them rush to press the elevator button immediately. Parents can ask them to wait for the parents to go out together, walk to the elevator together, and then press the button.

Parents Must Be Consistent and Credible to Train Children’s Intelligence

These are just a few examples. Parents must make good use of the “dragging tactic” in life’s details. Using the dragging tactic does not mean denying or refusing the children’s needs, but rather not satisfying them immediately. What parents need to pay attention to is that when using these tactics, they must follow through with what they say. No matter if the children act spoiled, throw a tantrum, cry, or scream, parents must stick to the principle of “dragging”; additionally, parents must also be credible and do what they have promised the children.

Furthermore, when children make requests, parents can ask the children to explain their reasons, which not only trains their emotional intelligence (EQ) but also their intelligence (IQ). By putting a little more effort into the details of children’s lives, parents can effectively help train their children’s emotional intelligence. Parents might as well give it a try!

News

Sep, Oct 2025 Reminder

Post author By system
Post date 01/09/2025

Organic food = nutritious?

Post author By system
Post date 01/09/2025

Written by: Registered Dietitian (Public Health) (UK) Phoebe Wu

Many families choose to consume organic foods such as fruits, vegetables, and eggs. When asked why they choose organic foods, most people respond: “Because organic food is safer and more nutritious.” In this issue, I will teach what organic farming is.

What is organic farming?

Organic farming refers to agricultural activities conducted using agricultural, biological, or mechanical methods instead of synthetic substances made by humans. It does not use chemical fertilizers, pesticides, or genetically modified crops, but rather utilizes local natural resources and adheres to the natural ecological order. The scope of consideration is very broad, for example: there must be a buffer zone of at least 2 meters between the organic production area of a farm and the non-organic areas to prevent contamination of the crops.

Crop and variety selection and diversity

Seeds or vegetative propagating organs used for organic cultivation must be organically certified.
Farms must implement crop rotation and intercropping and should diversify as much as possible to avoid monoculture.

Nutrient Management

Fertilization must be done in appropriate amounts to prevent nutrient excess and environmental pollution.
The fertilizers used on the farm should be harmless to the ecological environment in terms of their source, quality, application rate, and method of application.
Fallowing should be practiced to allow the land to recover its fertility.
The use of chemically synthesized fertilizers, human excreta, sewage sludge, and chemical waste is prohibited.

Management of diseases, pests, and weeds, as well as crop growth

Implement appropriate fertilization and irrigation management.
Use physical methods, including manual labor, fencing, light, sound frequency, heat, etc.
Plant crops that have pest control functions (including repelling pests and attracting natural enemies).
The use of chemically synthesized herbicides, fungicides, insecticides, and other pesticides is prohibited.

Hence, organic farming focuses more on ecological protection during the cultivation process. However, in terms of nutritional value, the difference between organic and non-organic food is actually not significant. Moreover, there is no evidence to suggest that children who eat organic food are healthier or smarter. Of course, since organic food is more environmentally friendly and uses fewer chemical pesticides, I also encourage everyone to purchase more of it.

Conventional Farming vs. Organic Farming

	Conventional Farming	Organic Farming
Safety	More commonly uses chemical pesticides and fertilizers.	-Fewer chemical pesticides. -Focuses on the ecological environment. -Uses non-genetically modified materials.
Nutrition	No significant difference
Health	Similarly, attention should be paid to the principles of a healthy diet low in fat, sugar, and salt.

A story that enlightens ‘monster parents’ in 5 minutes

Post author By system
Post date 01/09/2025

Written by: Mr. Chiu Wing Tak, a senior education expert and honorary advisor to the Association of Careers Masters and Guidance Masters

If you ask me, in the decades of teaching experience, what are the most unforgettable moments, I would unhesitatingly answer the stories that enlighten people. Why am I so attracted to enlightening moments? Because enlightenment is a form of “higher-level education,” and as someone who deeply loves education, these moments are particularly memorable.

Below is a story of how I enlightened a “monster parent.” Why did this parent become a monster? Because he “pulled out all the stops” to make his son win awards! And I “woke him up” in just 5 minutes!

The “monster parent” was a professional who had very high expectations for his son, demanding that his son win the Best All-Round Student award at school every year. His son had been attending the school where I taught and had already won the all-round award for his grade level for two consecutive years. In the third year, he and his son continued to work hard, hoping to achieve a “hat trick” by winning for three consecutive years!

The student and his father were well aware of the areas the school emphasized, so they focused all their efforts on those key areas. However, that year, an unexpected change occurred when the school increased the weighting of certain subjects’ scores. As a result of this change, the student ended up in second place. Upon learning that he would not be first, both the student and his father were furious. The father did not hesitate to call and vehemently protest to the Brother Principal. The kind-hearted Brother Principal was bothered by the parent for two days straight, and finally passed the matter to me, saying, “Peter, this parent has been talking to me on the phone for half an hour every day, insisting that I promote his son to first place, which has completely prevented me from dealing with other school matters. Please help me out; I’ll give you the parent’s phone number.”

Tactfully persuade to understand the need to face failure early

After understanding the ins and outs of the matter, I immediately called the parent. I understand that this parent loves his son very much, so he started by saying, “Mr. T, I know you love your son dearly, and your son is also doing very well in academics and extracurricular activities.”

The parent responded, “Exactly!”

“Your son has already won the all-around award in both the first and second years of middle school, so it’s only natural that you would want him to win it again in his third year. But…” I paused here. “A person cannot always succeed without failing. Since failure is inevitable sooner or later, Mr. T, would you prefer your son to face failure sooner rather than later?”

The parent, being a person who “gets to the point,” immediately said, “Are you suggesting I should stop pursuing this matter?”

“Not at all, I just want you to consider what’s best for your son, to let him experience minor failures early on. This way, when he faces major failures in the future, he will naturally know how to handle them!”

After some thought, the parent replied, “I understand Mr. Zhao’s point. I won’t pursue it further, thank you for your explanation!”

How did I make the parent see the reason? The answer is: I helped him break free from his fixation. What was his fixation? He was fixated on an unbreakable belief – that a good parent must do everything within their power to ensure their child’s success. From his perspective, I appreciated his efforts, but also gently told him that helping his son accept failure early could also be the mark of a good parent. Being a wise person, he understood the implied message that not allowing his son to face setbacks early could lead to worse pain later. Thus, he suddenly saw the light and accepted my advice.

How should I choose between morning and afternoon kindergarten classes?

Post author By system
Post date 01/08/2025

Source : Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

Even if approximately seven to eight out of ten parents prefer morning classes for their children, some may still opt for afternoon classes. When children wake up and leave for school together with their parents, they can take naps, which may lead to better learning. Generally, there are higher expectations for children attending morning classes, but what issues might they encounter?

However, young children, especially those in K1 or N1, may have longer sleep times. Therefore, they may experience emotional issues when getting up in the morning. In such cases, parents should choose afternoon classes for their children, even if they are reluctant. It’s not because you couldn’t secure a spot in the morning class but rather a deliberate choice.

The reason for this choice might be that both parents finish work very late, possibly returning home after 7 p.m., and then spend time with their child until midnight. Quality family time is precious. Do you value study time more or family time more? Sleeping until 11 a.m. the next day is not much different from taking an afternoon nap, as it amounts to a full 10 hours of sleep from midnight to 10 a.m. In other words, even without an afternoon nap, there is enough sleep quality and sufficient family time.

If you’ve applied for morning classes and your child is unwilling to wake up early, they will need to gradually adapt. This adaptation can begin with waking up at 10 a.m. and gradually moving to 9:30 a.m., 9 a.m., and 8:30 a.m. There are also several techniques for waking them up. For instance, there was a case where instead of waking up their head, they woke up the body. This involved massaging the feet, waking up the feet, waking up the abdomen, waking up the back, and then waking up the hands and feet. In addition, providing ample light by pulling back the curtains, turning on the TV, and introducing the smell of breakfast can help. If there’s a favorite food aroma, it’s even easier to get the child out of bed when it smells delicious.

Parents should be prepared on both fronts. On one hand, they shouldn’t automatically assume that morning classes are the only good option. On the other hand, if for certain reasons, they choose morning classes, they should add more gradual steps to the waking-up process and provide multi-sensory stimulation to help the child wake up through their willpower. This is because the concern is that if their willpower wakes up but their body isn’t synchronized, it can be very challenging.

For a cowardly child

Post author By system
Post date 01/08/2025

Written by: Mr. Leung Wing Lok, the Octopus Parent

Earlier during the summer vacation, I let my child participate in various extracurricular activities. My eldest son, Hei Gor, and his kindergarten classmates took part in an outdoor activity venue located in Tai Po called “Tree House,” which has grasslands, farmlands, fish ponds, and more, allowing them to get close to nature. The highlight of the activity was climbing up to the 5-meter-high treehouse. Hei Gor, known for his timidity, would get weak in the knees and sweaty hands even when standing by the glass railings in shopping malls. Standing at a height of 5 meters, he said, “Oh… I thought there would be stairs to go down from the treehouse…”

Hei Gor was afraid to descend from the treehouse and was ‘mocked’ by the coach

Under the guidance of the coach, parents helped their children put on climbing safety gear, ready to climb up to the treehouse. As the parents climbed following the coach’s instructions, the children felt reassured seeing their parents demonstrate and followed suit. After Hei Gor climbed up to the treehouse with step-by-step guidance from the coach, he began to regret it, not knowing how to get back to the ground. Having to hug the metal pole and ‘play firefighter’ to slide down (although he was suspended by a safety rope) was a huge challenge for him. No matter how I coaxed and instructed him, and regardless of how the parents and classmates on the ground cheered him on, Hei Gor just braced his feet against the tree trunk and refused to approach the metal pole.

The coach let the other children land first, one by one. Some were playing with smiles on their faces, some were crying out of fear, but all landed safely. Only Hei Gor was resolute in his refusal. The loving coach kept coaxing Hei Gor in his unique way, saying, “You are 100% emotional, be a little rational, and don’t be scared.” Hei Gor said, “No!” The coach suggested, “How about the parents below… (I thought he said: applaud to encourage him) How about raising money together to buy a refrigerator and air conditioner for Hei Gor to spend the night in the tree house.” After hearing this, Hei Gor cried out even louder, “I don’t want to spend the night here.” I thought to myself, “Education is a sacred and solemn task. If you don’t know how to teach, you’re in big trouble.”

Overcoming Fear, Parents Feel Relieved

The coach continued to Hei Gor, “You see, your aunt is heavier than you, and she landed safely. It’s okay.” Hei Gor laughed through his tears, “Dad is the fattest and heaviest!” At that moment, I wanted to jump down from the tree house. Despite several attempts, the coach talked about politics, Wong Tze Wah, the property market, and songs by Danny Chan, to which Hei Gor said, “I don’t know what brother is talking about.” When all the children had gone up and down once, and some had started their second round, Hei Gor and I were still enduring the high temperature for over half an hour, “watching”. In the end, I lied that his brother would slide down with him, and let him buckle the safety belt, Hei Gor held the iron pole and slowly descended. The process and landing naturally involved continuous crying, and the first thing he did when he landed was to hug his mother.

Hei Gor took a rest and suddenly said to me, “I was really scared.” I took him back under the tree and said, “You climbed up to the tree house all by yourself just now, which is very high, and you did a great job. Although it took some time to come down, you have succeeded no matter what, and there’s no need to be afraid anymore. Would you like to climb it again next time?” Hei Gor replied, “Yes, I want to!”

Hei Gor, you are timid, but your courage to overcome your fear of heights certainly makes your parents relieved. However, it is your overcoming of fear and expressing the hope to climb up again next time that makes me proud. (Although you might cry and make a fuss again next time).

What should I do if my child has a habit of sucking their fingers?

Post author By system
Post date 01/07/2025

Written by: Early Childhood Education Specialist, Teacher Chan-Chen Shu-an

According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk within 10 minutes (possibly because the bottle’s nipple hole is larger) are more likely to exhibit finger-sucking behavior than those who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also conducted an experiment feeding puppies with a dropper, preventing them from sucking while feeding. The result was that they resorted to sucking their own or other puppies’ skin, some so vigorously that the skin peeled off. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, not innate, and not a bad behavior.

Breastfeeding Fosters Parent-Child Bond

When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the baby is the happiest. This is because the baby not only receives proper nutrition and warmth and security from being in contact with the mother’s skin but also enjoys the soft nipple while sucking, which provides not only sustenance but also a profound love and emotional connection between mother and child. This deep love and family bond cannot be compared to feeding from a cold bottle, especially considering the supreme satisfaction the baby gets from sucking.

However, most mothers work outside the home due to various reasons, and sometimes have to feed their children with a bottle. In such cases, special attention should be paid to the frequency and duration of feeding. Mothers should calmly allow their children to eat slowly, paying particular attention to the size of the bottle nipple hole. Only when the child is satisfied with sucking will they be less likely to develop the habit of finger-sucking. When an infant starts to enjoy sucking their fingers, it is an unconscious behavior. Their little finger moves around and unintentionally goes into their mouth, bringing them pleasure and satisfaction, leading to sucking.

Releasing Psychological Tension

However, if a child continues to suck their fingers at the age of 4 or 5, it takes on a different meaning. This may be a way of releasing psychological tension. For example, due to parental conflict, the child feels anxious; or because of a new sibling, they fear losing their parents’ love; or because the parents are too busy to care for them, they feel lonely and lack the warmth of a family; or because the child is sent to kindergarten too early and lacks a sense of security due to inadequate care. These factors can lead to anxiety, unease, tension, and fear in children, all of which are causes of psychological tension.

Like adults, children need to release psychological tension when they are anxious. This is a natural phenomenon. Adults often smoke to relax and relieve psychological tension. Children may suck their fingers or rock back and forth to release emotional tension. In this situation, parents should not only improve their attitude towards their children but also be extra patient. They should maintain a calm and gentle attitude to help the child relax and feel no pressure. On the contrary, if parents show worry, and nervousness, or are eager to correct and blame, or if they tie the child’s fingers or apply bitter medicine, it will only backfire, increase the child’s unease, and create a vicious cycle. This will prolong the habit of finger-sucking, as the child wants to quit but cannot control themselves.

Preventive and Corrective Methods

Whenever possible, breastfeed, as it is the most natural and suitable feeding method for infants, and it reduces the chance of developing a finger-sucking habit.
When using a bottle, parents should pay special attention to the feeding time, aiming for 15 to 20 minutes, which is ideal.
Engage the child in activities with toys and dolls to redirect the finger-sucking habit.
Spend more time with the child, playing, telling stories, and singing songs together to prevent the child from feeling lonely or bored, which can lead to finger-sucking.
When a child sucks their fingers vigorously, parents should remain patient and calm. Sometimes, ignoring the behavior can lead to its natural disappearance.
If a child has had a finger-sucking habit for several years before the age of 6, it will naturally diminish over time, especially if the child only sucks their fingers when sleeping. Parents should patiently wait, as hasty correction is ineffective. Particularly after starting kindergarten, the habit may disappear naturally due to the child’s reluctance to suck their fingers in front of peers or being occupied with other activities at school.
Fingers sucked on will have an unpleasant odor. If a 5 to 6-year-old child still has this habit, letting them smell the unpleasant odor may help correct the behavior

Parents Zone

Parent-child creative art creation

Post author By system
Post date 01/07/2025

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

Everyone has creativity and artistic potential. If properly nurtured, it can enhance one’s moral sentiments and make life more perfect. In the artistic atmosphere, diverse activities inspire individuals’ creativity, aesthetic sense, and diverse abilities, promoting holistic development. ‘Love’ is the driving force of creation. In a free, democratic, safe, and harmonious environment and atmosphere, it is the expression of ‘love,’ emphasizing mutual tolerance, acceptance of different opinions, and respect for and acceptance of others. So, how can parent-child creative art creation express ‘love’? Here, the author shares his views with all parents.

The significance of parent-child creative art creation:

Art education starts with individuals. Parents try to engage in artistic creation to cultivate their children’s artistic accomplishments.
The first lesson of art education begins with ‘listening’ and ‘acceptance.’ Parents learn to accept the diverse ways in which children express their creativity.
Through the joint participation and experience of parent-child art creation, parents can get closer to and understand their children’s hearts.
Parent-child art creation helps children to understand themselves and release emotions and stress.
By integrating an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and respect, it reduces parental stress and anxiety, thereby enhancing parent-child relationships.
Making parent-child fall in love with creation, integrating art into life, and enhancing the quality of life.

Artistic Cultivation Tips

Cultivate a kind of knowledge in being human and enhance the ability to share, that is, ’empathy.’
According to the research of psychologist Hoffman on the development of human empathy, ’empathy’ is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to put oneself in their shoes.
The three steps of ’empathy’: (1) Imagine standing in the other person’s position (2) Identify the other person’s true feelings (3) Convey understanding and feelings to the other person.
Empathy’ is an important ability in interpersonal relationships. Only those with ’empathy’ can establish good interpersonal relationships, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility.
Children at the age of 2 to 3 can already understand the feelings of others. In order for children to be compassionate, possess ’empathy,’ and understand love and care for others, it is very important for parents to lead by example.

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Jul-Aug 2025 Reminder

Post author By system
Post date 01/07/2025

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