6 月 2024

分類
家長園地

小朋友長大反而要餵食?家長可以如何拆解?

Source: Psychotherapist, Lee Wai Tong
The parents begin feeding the baby milk and gradually introduce paste from the time the baby is born. Then children can start to hold their own utensils and eat on their own, one bite at a time while watching them grow up. But when the children reach the age of 6 to 7, they will suddenly ask their parents to feed them. What is the reason for this? How can this be resolved?
Whenever children grow up, their parents are happy, especially when their children eat. In the past, they had to be fed by their parents, but later they learned to use utensils and eat by themselves, which was originally a very happy thing. However, many parents do not understand that when children can eat on their own, they begin to ask their parents to feed them. This is because the intimacy of parental feeding feels good and may make children want to be fed.

When children are young, it is fun for parents to feed them, but when children grow up, it is a headache for parents if they still want to be fed halfway through a meal. We don’t want to spoil the atmosphere of the meal because of the feeding problem, so we need to learn that when children ask to be fed in the middle of a meal, we can solve the problem in the following ways:

Parents can say to their children, “If you take two more bites of rice, mommy and daddy will start feeding.” The next time the same thing happens, say, “If you eat three more bites, mommy and daddy will start feeding,” gradually shorten the time of parental feeding, and gradually extend the time of children eating on their own. Later on, there is a chance to finally just feed him a bite to maintain the intimacy of the parent-child relationship but also to make the eating atmosphere more interesting.


分類
家長園地

四大破壞親子關係的行為

資料來源:資深親職教育專家Bally

不少家長經常會問「為甚麼小朋友這麼不聽話?」、「為甚麼他這麽討厭我?」或「現在愈來愈不理我了。」其實我們當父母的,有四種行為是會令小朋友慢慢地討厭了自己。平日接觸很多家長,他們很多時不自覺地說了一些說話,或者做了一些行為,令小朋友討厭自己,這都是父母沒有留意到的。

第一,是比較。我們經常很自然地對小朋友說「為甚麼你會這樣?」、「弟弟都沒有像你這樣,弟弟很整齊的」及「你看看旁邊的同學多聽父母話」等。當我們經常用「比較」的態度去表達自己時,小朋友一聽到媽媽的聲音,就會覺得很討厭。

第二,很多時候小朋友做錯事,家長都會忽略了其行為背後的動機。當發現小朋友做錯事,我們應先了解行為背後,小朋友想達到的目的,不排除他們是想做一些正確的事。可能是想倒杯水給父母或弟弟,又或他做功課做得不好,其實他已經盡了力,只是精神疲累。

當他做得不好的時候,我們可以先讚賞其行為,「辛苦你了,我知道你很乖想倒水給父母,但是以後不要再倒瀉了」、「這樣很危險的」或「不要走這麽快。」我們讚賞了小朋友後,他便會明白自己是做對了事情,然後才會聽父母建議後再改善。

第三,家長要留意每日下班時,其實是否充滿了負能量,將情緒帶進家裡。當家長看到小朋友行為做得不合意時,可能我們會一連串地地將情緒發洩在小朋友身上。這對小朋友並不公平,可能他只是犯了很少很少的錯誤,卻遭到連串的責怪。

第四,家長要很小心,表達憤怒時會把一些不正確的信息錯誤地灌輸予小朋友。例如「你這樣做,不如不要當我的兒子」。當我們錯誤地用了這麽激動的詞彙,對小朋友的傷害其實是很大的。

 

家長絕對不可以在小朋友成長過程中犯上這四種行為,否則他們從小就會討厭父母。